Call To Spare Parents From Jail

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/8206699.stm

Basically this story is about calls to the Scottish courts to show more leniency towards criminals if they are parents. Not if they’re serial killers obviously but people who have committed crimes that just cross the line into jail sentence territory. Some people want the courts to avoid handing out jail time because of the devastating affect on the children.

Now, obviously this would be better for the weans but it’s also great news for me. Why? Well, I’m a parent with a clean criminal record and this would essentially give me free crime credit to the tune of a six month jail sentence. A ‘Get Out Of Jail Free Card’ if you like. While the courts are weighing these calls up I’m going to be working out whether to use up my free crime credit in one go or commit a whole series of really small crimes. At the moment I’m considering a quick joyride, punching a few shepherds and flashing a couple of pensioners.

If you’re not a parent and you don’t think this is fair then you maybe need to look at things in a different way. This is surely the reason you’ve been looking for to finally have children. You don’t want to miss out on this great deal, right? The best thing would be to find a like-minded soul so that you can both take advantage. That’s a twelve month jail sentence worth of free crime between you just for having a silly wee baby. And remember, the credits don’t start coming off you until you actually get caught.

So don’t waste time waiting on the courts, figure out how you’re going to spend your crime credit today.