3 Women In Renfrew Want To Fuck You

3 Women in Renfrew Want To Fuck You.

I don’t know if you are a frequenter of the torrent sites like me but if you are you might have had a message like the one above pop up on the screen. Three Women In Renfrew Want To Fuck You. 3. Three. Three Renfrew women want to shag me. 3. Three.

How do they know this? I don’t know the exact process but I’m assuming they take my IP address from the torrent site, use it to find out my identity, take photographs of me when I come out of my house and send the photographs to every house in Renfrew with a wee Yes or No check box for the women to tick off. And three ticked Yes. 3. Three.

I’ll be honest with you, three is a disappointing number. According to my research, the population of Renfrew, Scotland is 20,251. In a town of over 20,000 people I only have three chances of getting my hole?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am a happily married man and I’m not going to be driving around Renfrew tonight asking every woman from 18-80 if they are one of my magic number but a guy has an ego and three is a bit of a blow. I mean THREE! COME ON TAE FUCK HERE!

In a population of 20,251 there’s got to be at least 100 women that would ride anything. AT LEAST a hundred. And I’ve got three! That means 97 of those women who’ll ride anything are now women who’ll ride anything except Iain Connell. My photo cured 97 nymphomaniacs. Gutted. Sickened. Beelin’.

8 Responses to “3 Women In Renfrew Want To Fuck You”

1. TheWeeman says:

   July 30, 2009 at 5:26 pm

   Let’s put a positive spin on this, Iain…

   Let’s say the population is 1/3 Men, 1/3 weans and 1/3 eligible women.

   So, we are talking about a pool of approximately 7000 women.

   Of that 7000, let’s say 50% used ‘no’ as a protest vote against Labour.

   That gives a truer figure of 3 out of 3500.

   That’s still not very good, is it?
2. Iain says:

   July 30, 2009 at 5:36 pm

   I’ve done all the sums. There’s no way to fudge the numbers to make them look good. It’s just a disaster.
3. PureJakeyBastart says:

   July 30, 2009 at 5:38 pm

   Iain, If I was a wuman, I’d pump yae, nae dramas. Don’t get down-hearted aboot it.
4. Tam says:

   July 30, 2009 at 6:42 pm

   Iain my maws pal lives in Renfrew and is a pure slapper, shes a lessy tho so that brings the numbers down a bit.
5. Ross (87th off of the CV forums) says:

   July 30, 2009 at 10:47 pm

   I will light a candle for you, Iain.
6. Allan says:

   July 31, 2009 at 2:53 pm

   Don’t be coy Iain, I’ll bet there’s at least 10,000 people in Renfrew that would like to have sex with you.

   So what if only 3 of them are women.
7. Iain says:

   July 31, 2009 at 4:26 pm

   I know you’re trying to buoy my spirits, boys, but I’m so fragile right now. The sight of my own body in the mirror makes me cry.
8. Martin Robertson says:

   August 3, 2009 at 5:55 pm

   The title should have continued “….Over the Head With a Beer Bottle”