The Real Hustle: EXPOSED
The BBC show The Real Hustle began in February 2006, as a supposed “spin-off” from the BBC drama show Hustle.
You’ve probably all seen it. The show features three presenters, two of whom are men. The men are Alexis Conran and Paul Wilson, who also write the show.
Myself and Iain have watched every single episode of The Real Hustle and most of them more than once. The show is great. It gives the viewer a look at how “hustles” are performed. Con-tricks. It’s light, entertaining fun.
But we’re about to blow the lid right the fuck off of the dark heart of The Real Hustle.
The third presenter of the show, the only female presenter, is this girl:
Her name, according to the show’s end credits, is Jessica-Jane Clement. It all seems perfectly innocent. Two guys, one unattractive but authoritative, the other suave and cheeky. And the beautiful girl. The honey trap.
It’s a honey trap alright. And we’re all stuck in it.
Here’s the truth:
JESSICA-JANE CLEMENT DOES NOT EXIST
The Real Hustle was not spun off from the show Hustle. It is not a spin-off at all. It was called “The Real” Hustle to simultaneously flag up that the show was A REAL HUSTLE and also to throw us off the scent by making us think it was a spin-off, a real-life version of the drama show.
The show ITSELF is the hustle. The REAL hustle is that Jessica-Jane Clement, this girl –
– DOES NOT EXIST.
Look at Paul Wilson’s wikipedia entry, we’ve bolded the relevant parts:
Ronald Paul Wilson (born in Akrotiri, Cyprus and raised in Singapore and Scotland) is a world renowned, award winning conjuror, scam artist, and television presenter. He lives and works between London, Los Angeles, and his home in Scotland. He is represented by David Boxerbaum at the APA Agency in Hollywood, CA.
He has studied sleight of hand, cheating and conjuring since the age of eight.
Wilson is a proven CHEAT. And he’s been cheating the viewers for three years now, in the greatest scam the BBC has ever pulled off. There’s nothing that makes those within the BBC laugh at your average punter, me and you, more than the fact that we believed that this girl–
–actually exists. SHE DOESN’T.
What do we mean by saying that she doesn’t exist? Do we mean that she is being played by an actress?
No. We mean that she is a digitally created effect. She is smoke and mirrors. We found this video, named “Jessica Jane Clement in Black Opaque Tights 1″
In the first 20 seconds of the video, you can see that while the digital “Jess” is beautifully realised, the FX men have avoided the Uncanny Valley issue by MAKING SURE THAT “JESS” NEVER LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA SO THAT WE CAN SEE HER EYES (SOUL).
We want you to get the word out there about this. The scam is over. We’re SURE that we’re the first people to uncover what THE REAL HUSTLE actually stands for. All that time we’ve been watching these “hustles” with “Jess”, the real hustle has been going on and we haven’t even seen it. UNTIL NOW.
If you think we’re wrong, PROVE IT. Prove to us that this “Jess” exists. PROVE IT.
The Real Hustle is OVER.
***UPDATE! Star of the Real Hustle confirms our revelation***
21 Responses to “The Real Hustle: EXPOSED”
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I can prove that I’ve wanked on her CGI’d, wire-frame, pseudo-tits?
Ohh!!! you bastards, you had me going then I was like WTF, for reals? and I felt like a right twat.
Then I remembered the BBC can’t afford CGI, have you not seen Torchwood.
[...] A couple of days ago, myself and Iain blew the filthy lid off The Real Hustle. If you haven’t read the shocking truth already, just click here. [...]
if she isn’t reall then why are people talking to her ?unless they are in on the hustle which is doubtfull
WTF. you must be joking why bother writing a whole page of Bullshit. you waste your time. If she really was BBC CGI, then why did Nuts magazine publish an interview and many many photo shoot picture in an issue. the company that runs nuts does not have CGI capabilities.
P.S.. for fucks sake do something more constructive with your time!!!!
The comments on this page are outstanding!!!
I suppose its true, there really are some dumb fucking idiots roaming around the planet!
[...] The Real Hustle: Exposed [...]
She is a model and theres many websites with many pictures of her outside the real hustle.
Theres pics of her from a younger age as a model too.
She used to model for Playboy, theres pics of that too!
Shes is also an actress. She has been in a large amount of scenes on sky one’s “dream team”
I meet her in Blackpool and i said “hi, i know you from the tv”, and she smiled and walked off. (shes a bit of a bitch, but very much real lol)
You and Iian are retards, theres another good point
And not to mention none of this article presents one single piece of evidence, to prove she “does not exist”
Im sorry, did you guys say there were actual words and stuffs ^up there^? I didnt notice any. And yes, she is CGI, the evidence? 4th photo. Only a geeky CGI designer could create such a thing of beauty.
Ah but Justin Bobby, you said:
‘Theres pics of her from a younger age as a model too.’
But have you not seen that show where they age the kids in front of the parents??? that’s done on computers. Could the reverse not have been done here? And also I put it to you that the person you met in Blackpool was infact a celebrity lookalike, sure wasn’t there a whole troop of them on Britains got Talent this year, you couldn’t tell the difference betweeen them and the celebrity they were imatating. You also say she appeared on Dream Team, well the clue is in the name there “Dream Team” that show has more CGI characters in it than ‘Reboot’. Also Jordan you wrote:
“if she isn’t reall then why are people talking to her? unless they are in on the hustle which is doubtfull”
… An Interesting point , but could they not also be talking to someone in an all body lycra suit with those table tennis balls attached to them sir?
Ha ha this is so funny!
I used to go out with her and she is very very real!
What bloody planet are you from???
Why waste your time chatting rubbish, this made me laught my head off thaks for the amusement
you guys need to go get laid or something.
what a load of shit
ummmmmmmmmmmmm evidence?
Uuuuuuuuuuummmm. We just gave it. We 100% proved it.
shes dating lee stafford!!! shes real!
She is very real I have just met her & my friend was with me so unless we are both seeing things u are very much mistsken!!!!
Nutters, get a life!!!!
LEE STAFFORD,IS IN FACT,J-J CLEMENT`S REAL DAD.
It’s true. I used to work at the BBC and 65-70% of the ‘people’ who appear in BBC shows are CGI, the News, Eastenders, Autumnwatch, they’re everywhere. That’s why you see very few BBC celebs in reality shows on other networks – Kate Humble’s never been on Celeb Big Brother has she – fact! If you look at a satalite image on Google of the BBC center at Wood Lan, it’s a circular shape similar to CERN and other particle accelerators, this is because it needs to generate enough power for the CGI servers. Don’t belive everything you see or read – be warned
She is real because i have met her in person in findsbury park train station and she was with i think what was her boyfriend or partner
Miss Clement used to be known as plain old Tina many moons ago,so in that regard Jessica-Jane Clement doesn’t exist.
Can’t believe people are arguing that she is actually real. Are they that stupid that they can’t take this for the joke it is meant to be.